Bondage? Should I indulge?

This word immediately makes one think of, being held against their will, at least some of us think that anyways.

And yes the word bondage does have some meaning of being enslaved but slavery has been abolished, well physical slavery.

Bondage is the practice of consensually tying, binding, or restraining your partner for erotic, aesthetic, or somatosensory stimulation.

You or your partner can be physically restrained in a variety of ways, including the use of rope, cuffs, bondage tape, or self-adhering bandage.

However, we are here to look into starting our bondage life so let’s begin slowly, shall we.

Many persons are curious about the consensual, erotic power play of Bondage/Discipline Domination/Submission Sadism/Masochism (BDSM), but don’t feel ready to invest in a full-scale dungeon just yet.

There’s no shame in being new to BDSM.

And while investing in kinky gears and sex toys can be fun, this kind of play is ultimately about you, your partner or partners, and consensual power exchange, not capitalism.

Most of you may think that the pleasure comes mainly and/or solely from the physical sexual torture.

And if you are looking for impact play, many people feel like no toy beats their hands anyway, and that’s free.

Likewise, various household items such as rope and clothespins can be used in scenes, and they hardly cost anything at all.

However, much of it is also psychological.

As a beginner, we would love to stare you in the right direction so fasten your seatbelts, let’s explore.

Bondage Categories

I have tried to break this down into three different categories: restraint, adornment, and stimulation.

1. When you’re a beginner who’s interested in restraint, I would recommend device bondage.
   This is bondage using handcuffs or other premade bondage devices that are easy to use.
2. If you’re interested in adornment, then head to a lingerie shop or a sex toy shop and ask if they have any corsets, or bondage boots, or harnesses.
   All of those things do have elements of bondage-like restriction, constriction, even shape-shifting of the body.
3. The final is stimulation, my favorite which is sensation bondage.
   This is using all sorts of different materials, to make yourself aware of your skin and the sensory experiences that you are feeling. I think this is a wonderful type of foreplay.

What you must never forget is that before you enter into any scene, please establish and confirm a SAFE WORD.

There is no rule what that safe word needs to be, you need to just ensure one exists.

8 Bondage Sex Tips For Beginners

1. Do not try it with strangers.
   The worse thing you want to do is to try a new sex scene with a new person.
   You are not a natural when it comes to bondage, no matter how “easy” you think it is.
   Try dropping your partner and/or your friends with benefits, hints of what you would like to try.
   Or Just have a real legit conversation. You want some new pleasure that’s all, I would listen.
2.  Keep it Simple.
   Don’t start by bringing in loads of tools – that can be intimidating, or even overcomplicate things.
   They can become more of a distraction than an enhancement.
   Which is why blindfolds are so handy. Most of us have one lying around or a necktie, a stocking or handkerchief will work too. Grab one!
3. Experiment with bondage restraints.
   You can start by pinning your partner’s hands to the mattress.
   Move into tying their hands with a belt or a tie until you move into putting them in an awkward sexual position and cuff those hands.
   The aim is to restrain your partner in a way where they are unable to get out.
4. Rope tying.
   This is one of the best tools in BDSM.
   But there is a wrong way and a right way to tying the rope. After all, we are people, not animals.
   Try this simple tying for example.
   While your partner is laying on their side in the middle of the bed, take the rope and tie their ankles together, then pull the rope from behind (ensure your partner’s knees are bent) tying their hands, then continue upwards tying a loose knot around their neck and finish by looping the rope around the bedpost.
   Leave enough rope for you to hold on to as you are having sex.
   So your partner’s head is stable by the bedpost, ankles touching or almost touching either their ass or their tied hands, so it’s like they mimic a backward C.
   The rope that is left hanging, gives you something to grip onto and means your partner can stay in that position for much longer without getting cramps.
   It also gives super-deep penetration, which is a win for both of you.
   Disclaimer:  you can also place your hands between your partner’s neck and the rope or anywhere you have tied during sex.
   
   
5. Submissive vs. Dominant
   Discussing your roles lets you both dive deeper into your sexual desires.
   Some people who are dominant in public like to experience submission in private and vice versa.
   Never assume your roles are obvious.
   If you are both unsure of which role you might like more, then take the opportunity to experiment with both. Some couples stick to their roles while others like to role play or change it up throughout the scene.
6. Bonding Tools
   In everything we do, we have levels but we want to ensure we are using the right tools as we start being a Domina and Dominus.
   You can invest in bondage pleasure tapes, padded handcuffs, floggers with the satin strip, sensual massage candles (Visit our IG @ikhloerae to get your Khitaria candle).
7. Bondage Playlist
   Setting the mood is always a factor no matter the type of sexual experience or scene that you are providing.
   Here are a few favorites to help you set up your mini-dungeon:
   Freak Like Me – Adina Howard
   Get on your Knees- Nicki Minaj feat Ariana Grande
   Sensuality- Isley Brothers
   Papi Pacify- Fka Twigs
   Fall at your feet – Crowded House
8. Pillow Talk
   The fun is over and you are lying next to each other breathless and sore.
   Cuddle up and start talking.
   Expressing to your partner what you loved, liked, didn’t care for, or absolutely hated, can help make your next bondage scene better.
   

Bondage in itself is another way of turning up the notch for your sexual experiences.

It is good to try because pleasure outside of your comfort zone is a phenomenal satisfaction.

Of course, there are other things you may also want to enjoy in bondage but don’t rush, you will get to the harnesses and the chokers…eventually.