Sex is one of the basic pleasures of life, but the orgasm is anything but simple.
What is the difference?
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Orgasm: The climax of sexual excitement. Physical pleasure centers the genitals and for some people, throughout their entire body.
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Female Ejaculation (Cumming): The release of thick and whitish fluid from the female prostate, also referred to as the G-spot.
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Squirting (Climaxing): The release of a diluted fluid from the urinary bladder.
And even though some people think female ejaculation and squirting is the same thing and some people use orgasm and cumming
interchangeably, they are three different stages in the sexual release of a woman.
During these times, nerve and muscle tension builds up in the genitals, pelvis, butt, and thighs.
These muscles begin to contract involuntarily and eventually release all of the tension–this results in orgasm.
It is because of this tension release that some people clench their toes, fist, make faces, arch their back, or don’t move at all.
During an orgasm is when ejaculation occurs for both people with a penis or a vagina.
However, penis owners are likely to ejaculate more often than someone with a vagina.
Having an Orgasm
Let’s talk about having an orgasm.
For most of us women, stimulating the clitoris is one of the easiest and quickest ways to reach an orgasm.
This can be done in a variety of ways—by using the hands, mouth, body pressure, and toys.
There are 8,000 sensory nerve endings in the clitoris alone!
It can be very sensitive to direct touch which makes it important to take our time and find out what feels best.
Another important organ to use is the brain!
Thoughts, emotions, and senses have a huge impact on our sexual experiences.
It is therefore important to relax and focus on what you are feeling while exploring your body, as opposed to worrying about if you are doing something correctly.
Pay attention to your body, it will definitely answer that question.
Understand the Logics
It’s also important to think about what you are expecting during solo and partnered sex.
Movies, books, and pornography typically depict an unrealistic expectation that women have orgasms as easily and as often as men.
In reality, about 70% of women never or rarely have an orgasm during penetrative sex alone.
The truth is that many need clitoral stimulation in order to reach orgasm.
Masturbation helps too
Masturbation is an amazing practice that can decrease the orgasm gap and increase pleasure when having sex with a partner.
Even if you know how to get yourself off when masturbating, sometimes you have to mix it up!
Trying new techniques and exploring different ways to have an orgasm only makes it easier to climax with a partner.
You can also play with different speeds, pressure, positions, toys vs fingers, and more.
If you are having difficulty climaxing during partnered sex, I encourage you to not only communicate your likes and dislikes but to also show them!
Oh, and use lube! Using lube adds to your comfort and increases pleasure and can be used alone and with a partner.
Orgasm vs Climax
Most of us grew up hearing the words “orgasm” and “climax” used interchangeably.
Climax is what we usually think of when we hear “orgasm”: a few seconds of pelvic floor muscle contractions.
Orgasm, on the other hand, is a state that can last as long as you want.
It’s what happens if the body stays in the state it reaches right before climax — except instead of tensing, it relaxes.
Non-climax orgasm
Non-climax orgasm arises in response to gentle attention to the clitoris.
Two methods aimed at inducing it are orgasmic meditation, which involves stroking the upper left quadrant of the clitoris for 13 minutes,
and extended orgasm, which uses a similar technique but is untimed.
Then, the sensation spreads throughout the whole body.
The key is to relax into it rather than tense up and to be aware of every sensation in your body.
Don’t discount any small amount of pleasure you feel. If you attend to it, it will grow.
Climax
- Leaves a woman drained
- Usually has a woman squirting (all women have the potential to squirt, it just takes patience)
- Ultimate sexual satisfaction.
- Involves a variety of touches and navigation to achieve a successful climax.
- Creaming usually runs like a slow white river instead of a thick pudding in an orgasm.
- a climax is like a mountain with a sharp peak. You reach the top, and before you know it, you’ve fallen back down the other side.
- More goal-oriented
Orgasm
- Doesn’t leave a woman drained, leaves jer more energized.
- It builds up sexual energy so you can channel it into other things.
- May leave a woman craving for more which means she requires multiple orgasms before her body feels satisfied.
- Helps to create a slow, sensuous experience.
- Can come with white heavy creaming.
- An orgasm is like a dome. There’s a wider area for you to explore at the top, and you can stay up without slipping off.
- Less goal-oriented
So much of sex is spent thinking about an orgasm or a climax.
We start off thinking about how we can make our partners come.
Then we try to figure out if they’re coming.
Then we wonder if they came. It’s exhausting!
It’s more about enjoying the journey than it is about reaching a destination.
Every little bit of pleasure is interpreted as a part of the sexual experience, so there’s no destination to reach.
You’re already there.
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