I believe it’s a heinous crime to fake an orgasm.
In faking it, we teach men that they are so good at fucking in missionary position that they can make us come with rapid thrusts alone.
I’ve been with men who fuck like this, and they act like it’s my fault when I don’t get off. “You’re an asshole, and your ex faked it,” I think while cursing them both in my head.
It’s probably unfair of me to say it’s evil to fake one,
Because some women have anorgasmia, which is the inability to have an orgasm.
But the fact remains that most non-anorgasmic women can’t climax from penetrative intercourse alone (if you’d describe your style of lovemaking as “penetrative intercourse,” that’s your first problem.)
Most women need direct clitoral stimulation and way more direct clitoral stimulation than you’d ever think is necessary—to have an orgasm. 6 Tips To Remember When Fingering
So yeah, someone has probably faked an orgasm with you. Don’t panic, let’s talk about it.
Sometimes — especially when you’re a woman that is experienced — it’s hard to come to the realization that your main focus during sex should not be putting the guy at ease and making him feel like he did a good job sexting you.
That is not our job.
The thought that most men have, comes from, in my opinion, porn.
Porn has instilled a certain expectation that penetrative sex can usually make most women come (LOLOLOLOL),
But even guys who aren’t necessarily silly enough to buy into that think there is a surefire recipe for female orgasm — like woman-on-top or oral sex beforehand.
And sure, this works often! But sometimes it doesn’t.
And sometimes, unfortunately, women fake it rather than spend more time and effort working for it.
So let’s dive into some reasons why a woman might fake an orgasm.
6 Reason Why Women Fake Orgasms.
- Single women have less of a chance at orgasm, to begin with.
Women are half as likely to come during casual sex as they are in relationships.
So single women are more inclined to fake it.
Maybe because they don’t feel comfortable enough to ask their partner for what they want
And, outside of a committed relationship, men are less inclined to call them out on it.
- When there is a man on top of a woman who is three seconds away from coming, it feels weird for her to just lay there with a blank face, like she is reading a copy of The Newspaper pasted on the ceiling.
At that moment it leaves us with just a few choices.
We can go with one of those super-pointed Have-You-Noticed-I’m-Not-Coming faces (I have mastered this) or,
We can keep going with the flow like we are into it but not necessarily coming
Or, yes, we can fake it.
- We’re tired and we just want it to be over.
If it ain’t happening, nothing brings a surefire end to sex more than a mutual orgasm (even if one party fakes it). That way we don’t have to deal with the half-awake dude licking his palm and segueing into a post-coital fingerbanging session that feels as obligatory as the drama club diva’s rendition of “On My Own” in a high school talent show. No thank you.
- We really, really like you, and worry that asking for what we want will turn you off.
Even though we know it’s not gonna happen this time, because we have a stomachache or we already bust a nut before we met up with you.
Or we keep thinking about our eczema-riddled 7th-grade science teacher or whatever the hell reason, we still want you to feel like you are doing your very best.
But why!?! Why do we do this? There is no good explanation because we should be getting ours!
- Whiskey dick doesn’t only affect dudes.
While any human who has ever had a glass of cabernet sauvignon knows that alcohol is an aphrodisiac, it also makes achieving orgasm more difficult.
- We faked it that other time and now you think we come really easily.
I mean, I am no expert in faking orgasms because I take mine very seriously, by whatever means you better make me come or you won’t live it down.
It is important that the partners we have are aware of how to please us because there is no sense in wasting your horniness.
What amazes me is that as a partner some of you fail to even realize that you are receiving a fake orgasm.
Some of the ladies may not like this but hey, some of the partners need educating too, don’t you think?
6 Clues That She’s Faking It
- She “comes” after you keep asking her to
Don’t pressure your partner into having an orgasm.
Nothing kills horniness (in any gender) like being forced to the finish line.
If you’re asking her every two seconds “did you come” and she eventually moans a half-assed “yeah baby,”
It was likely just to shut you up rather than because she got off.
- There was no foreplay
Unless you haven’t seen each other in a month and are so wrought with sexual tension that you could make electricity if you put forks in your ass,
Her vagina-owning sexy partner likely needs foreplay to have an orgasm.
So make out! Eat her out!
- There’s no recovery time
After I have an orgasm, I usually can’t talk or move for a little bit. My breathing is even different.
I’m extra nice to you, and everything is extra sensitive (like “don’t touch that” sensitive).
All women are different, but this is known as the “resolution phase” of an orgasm.
If she says she came but doesn’t look like she’s in an altered reality for a minute or two, she faked it.
- There are no contractions.
When I (and the majority of women) come, there are pelvic muscle contractions.
If this happens during penetrative sex, you may be able to feel her vaginal walls gripping “pulse pulse pulse” like the bassline of a house track.
If she screams that she’s coming but her vagina is as quiet as a Presbyterian grandma when someone brings up anal at Thanksgiving, she faked it.
- Suddenly she wants sex to be totally different.
If your partner suddenly stops having performative orgasms from penetrative sex and requests more oral, good for her.
She’s standing up for her sexual needs.
She was likely faking it some of those other times, and now she’s not.
Disclaimer: there could be a medical reason behind the change. Switching antidepressants, for instance, can affect the ability to orgasm.
- It’s different than her other orgasms.
Women fake it for a lot of reasons.
Usually, in newer relationships, it’s because she wants the sex to be good.
She may not feel close enough to her partner to ask for what she needs in bed (which is a scary thing to do) so she fakes it with loud moans.
Let’s say after sleeping together for a month that it’s her birthday, so you go down on her for 45 minutes.
She comes, less theatrically, but with an arched back while repeating “holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit” and then flops over to have a moment between her and her God.
Congrats: You just saw a real orgasm. Eat more pussy!
Of course, signs of faking an orgasm are all subjective, as anatomy varies so greatly.
If you discover that the woman who has been kind enough to let you inside her has been faking it, don’t be a dick about it and call her out.
Simply work on being more communicative.
You can ask questions like:
“What are some ways I can use on you in bed to make this even better for you?”
The answer is usually as simple as adding foreplay.
And don’t be scared to bring vibrators into the bedroom! 10 Toys To Help You Achieve Double Penetration